Yes, I am older, but No, I am not her Gramma!!

Yes, I am older, but No, I am not her Gramma!!

There have been many times we have been out and about with our daughter and someone always mentions the word Gramma, while I could be a Gramma at my age, I am not. Please don’t assume that I am. Before I can say anything, my daughter pipes in and says, “that’s not Gramma, that’s mama! I just smile and say, yes, I am her mama. Other times she will get a bit upset and explain that Gramma is in up in heaven, she died. Then my daughter will become sad. Please ask, before automatically thinking I am her Gramma. It’s isn’t just about my feelings, it is about my daughter’s.

I am not her Gramma

My father was the second youngest of 14 siblings, my mother was an only child, I am the middle child of 3. All my first cousins are at least 15-20 years older than me, many of which I have never met, well only on Facebook. My second cousins are closer in age. Back in those days it was normal to have large families. Over the years times changed, women went from having children early; 17/18, to having them later in life; after 35.

Check out these Fertility and Birth Rate Statistics

I am not her Gramma, I just had my child late in life, although my first child was born when I was 25, sadly he only lived an hour. It didn’t happen again for me until I was 41. The struggles I had went through to have my daughter are over on my guest feature at Journeys of the Zoo

I am not her gramma

My daughter would love to have a brother or sister, I am now 46 and am not so sure I could go through it again. I think of my daughter and how nice it would be for her to have someone to grow up with. Oh I can hear the judgement now. In the end it is our choice, but I will still be her Mama, not her Gramma. Don’t let the remarks of others make your choice for you. We won’t and don’t.

To the man on the bus, who actually asked, I thank you. You thought about it before you asked, I seen it. Remember if you see me on the bus, I am not her Gramma, I am her Mama.

Are you an older mama, with young kids? Has this happened to you?

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2 Responses to Yes, I am older, but No, I am not her Gramma!!

  1. Christine says:

    Great post! It’s awful when people make assumptions. There’s no doubt that most people don’t intend anything by their remarks and probably aren’t thinking at the time. Still, assumptions can be hurtful.

    I will be 40 this December and Little One will be turning 7 in November. What hurts most for me is the comments like “You really should have a sibling for your daughter” or “Only children are spoiled” or “Only children are lonely and need a sibling to know how to share”. WTH? It’s not like we haven’t been trying to have a sibling for her AND I don’t feel like talking about PCOS and miscarriages and everything every time someone tells me I should have another baby. I’m fine. Mind your own business 🙂 LOL!
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